{"id":2923,"date":"2013-06-17T06:30:12","date_gmt":"2013-06-17T13:30:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/?p=2923"},"modified":"2013-07-16T11:46:59","modified_gmt":"2013-07-16T18:46:59","slug":"deputy-joe-sneak-peek-james-buchanan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/deputy-joe-sneak-peek-james-buchanan\/","title":{"rendered":"A Deputy Joe Sneak Peek from James Buchanan (#bdsm, #gayromance)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-2927\" style=\"margin: 15px;\" alt=\"rainbow birthday cake\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/rainbow-birthday-cake.jpeg?resize=183%2C275\" width=\"183\" height=\"275\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/rainbow-birthday-cake.jpeg?w=183 183w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/rainbow-birthday-cake.jpeg?resize=99%2C150 99w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 183px) 100vw, 183px\" \/><\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Welcome my very special guest today, Birthday Gal James Buchanan. This time she&#8217;s giving us a present. Read on to see what it is:<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Hey folks, it&#8217;s MY BIRTHDAY! Happy birthday to me, I live in a tree, I look like a monkey, and I smell like one&#8230;.oh yeah, doesn&#8217;t rhyme now. BWHAHAHAHHA.<\/p>\n<p>No, I&#8217;m not telling you how old I am. But as my present to you, I thought I&#8217;d give you a little snip of <i>Requiem in Leather: Deputy Joe Book 4<\/i>, which I&#8217;m currently working on. It&#8217;s unedited, it&#8217;s not fully fleshed out, but I think y&#8217;all will find it HOT. And Totally Joe!<\/p>\n<div>Enjoy!<\/div>\n<p><br clear=\"all\" \/>~James<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.James-Buchanan.com\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/www.James-Buchanan.com<\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Please leave a Birthday wish for James in the comments!<\/h3>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<h2><i>Excerpt from James Buchanan&#8217;s Requiem in Leather: Deputy Joe Book 4 (unedited WIP)<br \/>\n<\/i><\/h2>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Frank sat on the edge of the bed.\u00a0 \u201cBones would have liked you to have them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAre you sure?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLook, these things have been collecting dust in my closet for a while.\u00a0 Here and there I\u2019ve passed on some of Bones\u2019 things that he\u2019d have wanted people to have.\u00a0 I gave most of his clothes to charity.\u00a0 This stuff, well it\u2019s not exactly what you put in the donation box at Out of the Closet.\u00a0 And his leathers, well, they\u2019re more personal, not something I\u2019d want to just hand over to some poser who wants to prance around and look hot.\u00a0 Bones loved Kabe.\u00a0 Said the most horrible things about him, but if someone needed to go bail that twink ass out of a bar at three in the morning, Bones would be out the door before I hung up the phone.\u00a0 Bones loved Kabe like he was his own.\u00a0 And Kabe loves you.\u00a0 Bones would have liked you\u2026probably would have shown you the ropes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe ropes?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFrom what Kabe\u2019s told me, what I\u2019ve seen of your personality\u2026you walk in the room, you don\u2019t even have to say anything, and all the subby boiz start to whimper.\u00a0 You may not ever do clubs or events, but you are one of us.\u00a0 Everything I really wanted to keep, I already have in my room. So anything you find in there that you want; take it.\u00a0 Even if you don\u2019t know what to do with it, but you like it\u2026yours.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Lots and lots of straps, some with studs or chains.\u00a0 All that flash seemed gaudy, pretentious somehow.\u00a0 \u201cKabe just wants me to not stand out, I think.\u201d I muttered it kinda under my breath.\u00a0 Don\u2019t know, guess that was just me\u2026big ol\u2019 county mouse in the city.\u00a0 I\u2019da just left it be, were it me, but Kabe wanted it.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think there was nothing I wouldn\u2019t give that boy if\u2019n he asked.\u00a0 Scared the daylights outa me every time I realized that.\u00a0 If he\u2019d said, \u2018Joe, go jump of that there building and show me you love me.\u2019 I\u2019da likely done it.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019d like me to fit in. You know, with his whole tribe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJoe, no matter where, no matter what you\u2019re wearing, you\u2019ll stand out.\u00a0 It\u2019s who you are not what\u2019s cupping your package.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I chewed on that bit for a while as I pawed through all the stuff.\u00a0 Fred left me at it, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching without watching as I pulled things out and put \u2018em back. Most felt like horse tack, thick and kinda raw leather.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t like those much. Picked a few things out that seemed things Kabe might appreciate, and that I sorta recognized off internet pictures: a harness thing that might serve on a mule, a leather jock strap\u2026not too keen on those or wearing one that\u2019d held some other guys dick\u2026 muscle man arm bands.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Mom said sometimes you gotta wear something just \u2018cause it makes you smile and that sure did.\u00a0 \u2018Course she was talking about her ol\u2019 pink coat not a black leather arm band near three inches wide with a big ol\u2019 hook lock to keep it together\u2026I don\u2019t know why that one, of all of them amused me, made me smile.\u00a0 But it did.\u00a0 Still, I was getting kinda frustrated though, lotsa toys, but nothing I cared for much.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I just didn\u2019t want to disappoint Kabe.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Then down in the bottom of that bag my fingers found something.\u00a0 Figured I petted it for all of a minute before my brain registered that I wanted it.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t even know what that smooth fine grain grabbing at the ridges on my finger tips was.\u00a0 Almost cool, drew out the warmth of my skin as I ran my hand over it.\u00a0 Nice as any guy\u2019s prick in how it just slid under my palm, warming up as I stroked it.\u00a0 Finally, I pulled it out of the case, find out what I wanted so bad that it made me want to go find Kabe and bend him over before I even laid eyes on it.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Almost surprised myself there.\u00a0 A pair of jeans.\u00a0 Black leather jeans.\u00a0 Not new shiny leather, but what had all the creases of time and wear etched into \u2018em.\u00a0 Balled \u2018em into my hands and brought \u2018em up to my face.\u00a0 That smell.\u00a0 Lord, nothing smelled quite like leather: heavy, musky, I could almost taste the quality of the hide on my tongue.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019d fill those out nice, Joe.\u201d\u00a0 Fred\u2019s voice startled me.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Plumb forgot he sat there.\u00a0 \u201cI guess.\u201d\u00a0 A little embarrassed, I stammered it out.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>He smiled, leaned in, and ran his finger down a seam.\u00a0 A little wishful smile turned up his mouth.\u00a0 I left him with it, didn\u2019t want to mess with whatever memory the sight of an old, familiar pair of leather jeans brought up.\u00a0 A moment or two later he blinked and the smile, now directed at me not inward, got bigger.\u00a0 \u201cThat pair was one of Bones\u2019 favorite.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAh, sorry,\u201d shaking out the creases my fists kinked in, I started to fold \u2018em up, \u201cI\u2019ll put \u2018em back.\u201d\u00a0 Gotta admit, I suffered a little disappointment.\u00a0 They felt so nice. \u201cThey belonged to your\u2026\u201d I let the question hang, \u2018cause I really didn\u2019t know how people round here called themselves.\u00a0 Guess it came from hiding so long.\u00a0 I never figured I\u2019d need to know such things.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Fred reached out, stopped my hands with the gentlest touch.\u00a0 \u201cBones, my partner.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah.\u201d\u00a0 I swallowed.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>He pushed the wadded leather back toward me.\u00a0 \u201cPut \u2018em on, Joe.\u00a0 Put \u2018em to good use. I\u2019ll show you what some of this other shit is for.\u201d\u00a0 His grin faded into a mocking leer\u2026not mean, just teasing.\u00a0 \u201cGet this old pervert\u2019s heart revving and make Kabe cum in his shorts.\u201d The panic that thought brought on must\u2019ve writ itself across my face, \u2018cause Fred laughed.\u00a0 \u201cOh, come on, I haven\u2019t taken my Viagra in months, you\u2019re safe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Cept for Kabe and locker rooms, I really ain\u2019t never gotten nekkid in front of other guys.\u00a0 Don\u2019t know why I did then.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t think on it much as I laid that inky black leather on the bed. Maybe, I just kinda took on Kabe\u2019s feeling\u2026you know, like this guy was one of my uncles or something\u2026in a weird and strange way.\u00a0 Wasn\u2019t also no fancy stripping or nothing.\u00a0 Just shucked my shirt and kicked off my boots.\u00a0 Then I dropped my jeans.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>As I reached for the jeans on the bed, Fred\u2019s voice caught me.\u00a0 \u201cShorts too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat?\u201d\u00a0 I looked over.\u00a0 There I was in my drawers and socks and this old man is telling me to get buck nekkid in his spare bedroom.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTrust me.\u201d That grin ain\u2019t never left his face.\u00a0 Just got wider and wider.\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019re clean.\u201d\u00a0 Heck I didn\u2019t even consider that when he said it. \u201cI got them cleaned before I stored them.\u201d\u00a0 Since I just kept staring at him, Fred shook his head and added, \u201cLook, you shouldn\u2019t have anything between you and that.\u00a0 Plus, they hang low on your hips.\u00a0 They\u2019re supposed to show things off.\u00a0 Honestly, I\u2019d say you should just wear chaps and a smile on Sunday, but I don\u2019t think you\u2019re quite ready for that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Fred had to be yanking me about wandering round with my junk hanging out.\u00a0 I\u2019d get arrested for indecent exposure doing that.\u00a0 The pants, however, I could see what he meant.\u00a0 If I slid \u2018em on over my drawers there\u2019d be an inch and a half of tighty-whiteys rolling over the top.\u00a0 Felt the heat crawling up my neck as I slid out of my briefs.\u00a0 Quick as I could I grabbed for the leathers.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWait.\u201d Fred\u2019s voice was quite and more commanding for it.\u00a0 \u201cDo you know how gorgeous you are, Joe?\u00a0 Let me just look a minute.\u201d\u00a0 His fingers brushed my hip, pushed me round without any pressure so I was facing him.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what I expected to see in his face, but it weren\u2019t there.\u00a0 I mean, it was like some of the ranchers I knew, how their eyes got all big and kinda misty when they saw a stallion racing cross the paddock.\u00a0 And not like I was livestock or nothing, but someone seeing something they just think is poetry moving.\u00a0 \u201cLet me photograph you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPictures?\u201d\u00a0 Me?\u00a0 I weren\u2019t none of that.\u00a0 Just, Joe Peterson.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah.\u00a0 Look, I know you\u2019re a cop.\u00a0 If you give me a release, I\u2019ll make sure no one can see your face\u2026but really, you\u2019re stunning.\u201d Like he could sense just how cold that made my blood run, he reassured, \u201cYou don\u2019t have to say yes right now.\u00a0 I\u2019ll show you some I did of Kabe a few years back.\u00a0 You can look through them.\u00a0 If there\u2019s one you like, I\u2019ll make you a copy.\u00a0 And you know, the two of you, that would make a dramatic black and white print.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>It hit me.\u00a0 I mean, I\u2019m standing next to this guy, having a conversation about clothes and photographs and I\u2019m buck ass bare.\u00a0 Somehow, it just didn\u2019t seem all that odd.\u00a0 Maybe it was Fred and how he looked at me.\u00a0 Not a creepy, pervert stare, but like he really looked at something he thought of as art.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll think on it.\u201d\u00a0 I actually would.\u00a0 Then I grabbed the jeans.\u00a0 Again the leather tickled my skin\u2026even more so as I stepped into the legs and pulled them up my body.\u00a0 I got hard, everything just rushing down right between my legs.\u00a0 This time, I didn\u2019t get all embarrassed.\u00a0 I shivered as the grain of the leather licked my butt.\u00a0 It took a bit of messing to tuck my stiff dick down my leg.\u00a0 I cupped my package so I could zip it all in without zipping it into the teeth.\u00a0 Then I yanked on the belt loops to sort of snug it all where the pants needed to sit.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJust absolutely stunning.\u201d\u00a0 Fred\u2019s voice had gone all soft.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know as I was worth that, but those jeans did look fine.\u00a0 That leather just sucked up on my legs and ass\u2026Bones and I must\u2019ve been damn near the same size.\u00a0 He might have been a smidge smaller, or maybe the leather tightened up from not being worn.\u00a0 Still, in the door mirror, I saw this guy I didn\u2019t half recognize.\u00a0 Broad chest covered in blond-brown fur and freckles, with a thick neck and buzzed scalp.\u00a0 My body tapered down to where my hips cut in just above the belt line of the leather.\u00a0 The jeans rode low enough that you could almost see where my belly fell into my crotch.\u00a0 I twisted a little just to feel the leather sliding against my skin.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>A tap on my bicep made me turn away from my vanity.\u00a0 Fred smiled and held out the arm band I liked so much.\u00a0 \u201cFor you, Joe, if you\u2019re only going to wear one, put it on the left arm.\u00a0 What size boot do you wear?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u2018Bout an eleven and a half.\u00a0 Why?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou need proper boots with that look.\u00a0 I\u2019ll go get a pair out of my closet.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t want to take anything you were keeping as special.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe buried Bones in those.\u00a0 These are mine.\u00a0 I wear an eleven but I\u2019ve always done these with two pair of socks.\u00a0 They should fit you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t want to take your boots either.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJoe, I haven\u2019t worn these in ages.\u00a0 My arthritic old knees and lug soles just don\u2019t go to well together anymore.\u00a0 You\u2019re welcome to them.\u00a0 It would make me happy to see them put to good use.\u00a0 Just give me a sec and I\u2019ll be right back.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Fred disappeared down the hall.\u00a0 I slid the arm band up and locked it down.\u00a0 That pinch shot a spark down my spine like I ain\u2019t never felt before.\u00a0 Since there weren\u2019t nobody there to watch me, I indulged my conceit \u2013 rubbing my hands down my thighs and around my own ass.\u00a0 Like two caresses in one.\u00a0 I\u2019d feel my palms and then a fraction of a second later the leather would move along my skin.\u00a0 If\u2019n Kabe didn\u2019t make it back soon, I might have to excuse myself to Fred\u2019s can and beat off.\u00a0 And darned if that boy\u2019s voice didn\u2019t answer my thoughts.\u00a0 Heard him and the front door almost at the same time.\u00a0 Couple of other voices bubbled along with his.\u00a0 Guessed that were the friends he went to go get.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDale! Matt!\u201d\u00a0 Fred yelled.\u00a0 \u201cYou two keep Kabe in the front room.\u00a0 Cover his eyes.\u00a0 Joe and I have a surprise.\u201d\u00a0 Before they answered, Fred slipped back into the spare bedroom, cradling a pair of big ol\u2019 biker boots.\u00a0 These were the rounded-toe shorty style, with lugs near an inch thick and steel toed\u2026the metal on the outside of the boot not under the leather.\u00a0 Fred held them out with one hand and used the other to close the door.\u00a0 \u201cHere, give the boys a pre Folsom thrill.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>As I took the boots, I sat down on the edge of the bed.\u00a0 \u201cPeople don\u2019t dress like this, do they?\u201d\u00a0 I shoved my big ol\u2019 feet into the boots; little tight, but they\u2019d probably fit better with wearing.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMost people?\u201d\u00a0 Fred chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cMost people don\u2019t wear that much.\u201d\u00a0 Once I\u2019d stomped down and stood, Fred opened the door.\u00a0 \u201cStill hiding his eyes?\u201d\u00a0 Fred called it out through the crack.\u00a0 Two vaguely positive sounds answered him.\u00a0 \u201cCome on,\u201d Pulling the door all the way open, he stepped through.\u00a0 \u201cTime for a runway walk.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I almost lost the nerve then.\u00a0 I mean, I didn\u2019t really know Kabe\u2019s friends from Adam \u2013 met them all of like twice and neither of those times went down so well.\u00a0 What would they think of me all like this?\u00a0 Fred didn\u2019t let me dwell on it, grabbing my arm and pulling me along behind him. With those heavy boots on my feet, I clumped along.\u00a0 For some reason the sound throbbed in my blood, made me stand a little straighter, pull my shoulders back.\u00a0 We came round the corner to the front room.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Once again the boy\u2019s took over Fred\u2019s couch. Apparently none of them remembered how to actually sit in a chair. Kabe sat in one corner, looking ornery and put out.\u00a0 Matt, sat on the arm of the sofa with Kabe pulled between his legs. His hands covered my boy\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 Dale had his combat-booted feet across Kabe\u2019s lap.\u00a0 Both of them went wide eyed when they saw me.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I mean, it had to be me, \u2018cause Fred was all loafers and Hawaiian shirts and they ain\u2019t never seen me like this.\u00a0 By the looks on their faces they couldn\u2019t quite draw a bead on things.\u00a0 A little fear.\u00a0 A lot of respect without even knowing why.\u00a0 Strange what a bit of leather and a set of broad shoulders will accomplish.\u00a0 Course, I usually got near the same reaction when I wore my uniform.\u00a0 Always thought it was the uniform\u2026now I realized, maybe, who filled it out mattered a skosh more.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cChrist on a fucking crutch.\u201d\u00a0 Dale sputtered it out.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMatt, let go.\u201d\u00a0 Kabe tugged on the wrists of the guy covering his eyes. \u201cLet me see.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Matt held on.\u00a0 \u201cNo. \u00a0Not gonna.\u201d\u00a0 He leaned in and in too loud of a whisper said, \u201cWe\u2019re stealing him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBend me over,\u201d Dale stretched like a cat: arms out above his head with his back all arched, \u201cand fuck me raw.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDown, you rabid little emo.\u201d Fred scolded.\u00a0 With a scowl he added, \u201cMatt, let Kabe go.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Matt huffed, rolled his eyes and glared at Fred like the man had told him to piss in a light socket or something.\u00a0 Throwing his hands up in the air, he slid off the arm and into the couch, managing to push Kabe onto the floor.\u00a0 \u201cYou,\u201d he stuck his tongue out in Fred\u2019s general direction, \u201care no fun.\u201d\u00a0 Dale tried to rearrange his feet into Matt\u2019s lap, and got slapped.\u00a0 \u201cAt,\u201d he paused for emphasis, \u201call.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJoe.\u201d\u00a0 My name outa Kabe\u2019s mouth carried nine-hundred kinds of emotion.\u00a0 The kind that made me go all weak inside.\u00a0 Never taking his eyes off me, Kabe ease up from the floor.\u00a0 Those few steps he had to take to reach me, well they were all predatory.\u00a0 By the time he touched me, leaned against me, I already shook some.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I mean I ain\u2019t never really touched him in front of other people.\u00a0 Maybe a quick hug or slap on the ass when Nadia was around\u2026but nothing like this.\u00a0 Kabe melded into my body.\u00a0 A raging hard dick pressed into my thigh and my own reared back up again, straining the leather and my nerves.\u00a0 He fingered the lock on the arm band while his other hand explored the fit of my ass in those leather jeans.\u00a0 Couldn\u2019t stop myself, didn\u2019t want to stop myself.\u00a0 Reached round and wrapped my grip behind his head, then I pulled him into a desperate kiss.\u00a0 My other hand slid down to cup his denim covered butt.\u00a0 Lord, but he tasted fine, smelled better and felt like heaven.\u00a0 So good, I lost myself in him.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.James-Buchanan.com\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/www.James-Buchanan.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\"><!--\namazon_ad_tag = \"emlynley-20\"; amazon_ad_width = \"728\"; amazon_ad_height = \"90\"; amazon_ad_logo = \"hide\"; amazon_ad_link_target = \"new\"; amazon_ad_discount = \"remove\";\/\/--><\/script><br \/>\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"http:\/\/ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/s\/ads.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Welcome my very special guest today, Birthday Gal James Buchanan. This time she&#8217;s giving us a present. Read on to see what it is: Hey folks, it&#8217;s MY BIRTHDAY! Happy birthday to me, I live in a tree, I look like a monkey, and I smell like one&#8230;.oh yeah, doesn&#8217;t rhyme now. BWHAHAHAHHA. No, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":63,"featured_media":2927,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[52,587,63],"tags":[114,574,623,6,918,132],"class_list":["post-2923","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-event","category-feature-article","category-guest-posting","tag-bdsm","tag-birthday","tag-deputy-joe","tag-excerpt","tag-guest-posting","tag-james-buchanan"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/rainbow-birthday-cake.jpeg?fit=183%2C275","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pzLgx-L9","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2923","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/63"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2923"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2923\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2927"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2923"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2923"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2923"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}