{"id":2379,"date":"2013-02-14T20:08:08","date_gmt":"2013-02-15T04:08:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/?p=2379"},"modified":"2013-02-14T20:08:08","modified_gmt":"2013-02-15T04:08:08","slug":"swept-away-by-valentines-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/swept-away-by-valentines-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Swept Away By Valentine’s Day: The Big Hype?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"pretty<\/strong><\/em>I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. It feels so fake to me and it’s fraught with expectations and people who are worried they aren’t doing enough or angry that their partners aren’t doing enough. It’s almost always a lose-lose situation. We’ve never made a big fuss out of the day\u2014at least not for a long time. When you start dating, Valentine’s Day turns into the elephant in the room. Neither person wants to bring it.<\/p>\n

A big part of my aversion to Valentine’s Day stems from living in Japan for five years. I know of no other place where VDay turns into a set of obligations like Japan. They actually celebrate it twice. In February, women buy presents for men on February 14. Then on March 14, men buy gifts for the women who gave them Valentine presents. That’s called White Day. And it’s not just a “thanks for the gift” box of chocolates. Nope. As with just about everything, the Japanese take gift giving to the Olympic level.<\/p>\n

\"white<\/a>On White Day men are expected to buy a gift worth about four to five times the gift they received. Talk about gender inequality. Women I knew would purchase certain gifts for their boyfriends, based on the value of the gift they wanted to receive. It was that calculating. And if you worked in an office, the women were expected to get gifts for male co-workers, who had to buy White Day presents for all the ladies.<\/p>\n

It sure could get expensive for the guys.<\/p>\n

\"jewelry\"<\/a>I have no clue how that system started, and as a foreigner I was exempt from the obligations, but I found the whole process fascinating to watch, and to hear both sides. Both my male and female Japanese friends complained about it. It’s possible this tradition hasn’t continued through the cyber age and the economic downturn, but it was just one more reason not to get too excited over Valentine’s Day in my own relationships. You can never tell if the choice of gift was because someone cared about you or if he was just fulfilling an obligation.<\/p>\n

When it comes to writing I’ve never set a story around Valentine’s Day either. I wouldn’t want my characters to feel an obligation to do something particular to prove their love for each other. If you’re in a stable relationship, you should show your partner or spouse on a daily basis and they wouldn’t need to be wined or dined on a particular date. In fact, given that VDay is so hyped up, you wouldn’t get a very special night out even if you did go somewhere special for dinner or music, or whatever you enjoy.<\/p>\n

\"images\"<\/a>I might feel inclined to write a VDay dinner that goes wrong. Mixed-up gifts, long wait for a table or the restaurant is out of champagne and chocolate souffl\u00e9s. That would be more fun: to see my couple weather the problems and still end up loving each other.<\/p>\n

So for me, I’ll keep showing the love all year, then sit back and observe everyone else on VDay. If that strikes you as not particularly romantic, remember there are 364 (more in leap year) days to show that love because you want to, and that’s when it’s really romantic.<\/p>\n

The Contest<\/h1>\n

What’s your feeling about Valentine’s Day? Do you feel obligated to do something special? What’s your perfect day like?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Leave a comment to win a $10 Amazon gift card. Second and third place winners get a copy of one title from my backlist<\/a> of gay romance. Winners chosen Feb 22. And enjoy a free read<\/a> while you’re here.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Visit more stops on the Blog Hop!<\/h2>\n

\"0valentinesbh300x200\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. It feels so fake to me and it’s fraught with expectations and people who are worried they aren’t doing enough or angry that their partners aren’t doing enough. It’s almost always a lose-lose situation. We’ve never made a big fuss out of the day\u2014at least not for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":63,"featured_media":2385,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[52],"tags":[400,348,919,923,922,485,487,483,484,486],"class_list":["post-2379","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-event","tag-blog-hop","tag-chocolate","tag-discussion","tag-em-lynley","tag-giveaway","tag-japan","tag-jewelry","tag-swept-away-blog-hop","tag-valentines-day","tag-white-day"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/pretty-candy.jpeg?fit=194%2C260","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pzLgx-Cn","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2379","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/63"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2379"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2379\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2385"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2379"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2379"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emlynley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2379"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}