I read this on a Yahoo group I\u00a0am on and I nearly died laughing. No idea if it’s true, but you’ll get a kick out of it anyway.<\/p>\n
Here’s a prime example of ‘Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus’ offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix. The professor told his class one day, ‘Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion
\nhas been reached.’<\/p>\n
The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.<\/p>\n
THE STORY<\/p>\n
\n(first paragraph by Rebecca)
\nAt first, Laurie couldn’t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
\nchamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
\nnow reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
\nthat he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep
\nher mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating; and if she
\nthought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So
\nchamomile was out of the question.
\n(second paragraph by Gary)
\nMeanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
\nnow in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
\nthan the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with
\nwhom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. ‘A.S. Harris to
\nGeostation 17,’ he said into his transgalactic communicator. ‘Polar
\norbit established. No sign of resistance so far…’ But before he
\ncould sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and
\nblasted a hole through his ship’s cargo bay. The jolt from the direct
\nhit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
\n(Rebecca)
\nHe bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
\none last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
\nhad ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
\npointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
\n‘Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,’
\nLaurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
\nexcited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
\nyouth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
\nnewspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
\ninnocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. ‘Why must one
\nlose one’s innocence to become a woman?’ she wondered wistfully.
\n(Gary)
\nLittle did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
\nThousands of miles above the city, the Anu’udrian mothership launched
\nthe first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy
\npeaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty
\nthrough the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the
\nhostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.
\nWithin two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu’udrian ships
\nwere on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
\nentire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their
\ndiabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
\nunimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine
\nheadquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
\ninconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
\n(Rebecca)
\nThis is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
\nwriting partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
\n(Gary)
\nYeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
\nwhose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. ‘Oh,
\nshall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F**KING
\nTEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I’m such an air headed bimbo who reads
\ntoo many Danielle Steele novels!’
\n(Rebecca)
\nAsshole!
\n(Gary)
\nBitch!
\n(Rebecca)
\nF**K YOU – YOU NEANDERTHAL!
\n(Gary)
\nGo drink some tea – whore.
\n(Teacher)
\nA+ I really liked this one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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