I’m curious what methods are most useful to readers in choosing which e-books to buy? You can’t just flip through the pages as you wander around your favorite bookstore, right?
Please answer the polls and comment if you have something specific to add. Thanks very much!
All commenters are entered to win one of my e-books. I’ll give away one book for every 3 comments left here…
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We can’t possibly do justice to this week’s theme without having a contest to find with the best and the worst euphemisms for “penis” that you’ve heard or read.
Purple-prose romances started the trend with quivering manhood and throbbing need and many many other forgettable phrases. Recently, gay and m/m fiction has made it okay to call a cock a cock. But there are still plenty of those ridiculous phrases kicking around–in our memories or in books that don’t take the risk of showing us what goes on behind those closed doors. Thankfully in our books, just about nothing happens behind closed doors. In fact it rarely even happens in bedrooms, and that’s exactly the way we like it!
Please leave a comment with your own entries and feel free to comment on the ones other people mention. I’ll attempt to edit this post keep up with the comments, but if we get too many it might not be possible. Later this week we’ll have a vote on the hottest and the most cringe-worthy phrases.
[WIN: Everyone who comments will be entered to win a copy of "A Heat.Seeking.Missile." by EM Lynley. Yup, I went there. ]
I’ll start off with one of my (least) favorites, baloney pony. I hope never to see it used in a book or I’ll stop reading immediately. But on its own, it’s pretty damn funny.
My favorite word to use is “cock.” Probably no surprise given the title of this event! I’ve always liked the word–how it sounds, how it feels to say it. In fact, when I moved back to the US from London after grad school, my best friend organized my going-away party at a pub called The Cock. Now, it’s not quite as bad as it sounds…the pub across the street was called The Hen & Chicks. But I still liked the idea of how dirty the name seems on its own!
Click “MORE” to see the list!
Word Counts - Today: 0 | November: 0 | 2009: 161,028
UPDATED Nov 12:
I’m waiting to hear back from the authors on all of the prizes and will be posting here as I get the names.
I’ll post the winner of each day’s prize here. To give a sporting chance, I won’t choose a winner until the day after the post originally goes up. There will also be random winners selected from everyone who has commented on any Cocktoberfest post. More comments = more chances to win!
You have until Nov 15 to contact me at blog@ emlynley.com with your email address so I can send your prize. Do not leave your email address in this post for your own privacy.
Click “more” to see if you’re a winner! more…
Word Counts - Today: 0 | November: 0 | 2009: 161,028
Since I’m sort of one of the final few bringing up the rear, if you will, of Cocktoberfest – I thought I might take the opportunity to reminisce over the past week a bit. Put a few things into perspective and of course talk about some of the new things I’ve learned.
Ah – Cocktoberfest. The images the word inspired in my mind upon first seeing it. There in lies a bit of the problem. I mean – I practically fell all over myself when it came to agreeing to participating in the festivities. However, I should be completely honest now and fess up to the fact I initially thought Cocktoberfest was something else altogether. It was only natural, considering my understanding of the root word, Oktoberfest, which I’d understood to be some sort of wine tasting for beer drinkers. Keeping that in mind, I naturally assumed the word Cocktoberfest – well, would involve the tasting of a wide variety of different…um…let’s just say it gave meaning to one of my favorite lines from the Bogie/Bacall classic, To Have and Have Not. You know the line – ‘You just put your lips together and…blow.” Since I was indeed incorrect on that score, we’ll just move on, shall we?
Despite my initial disappointment on discovering there wasn’t going to be an official cock tasting – it has wound up being a particularly titillating week here at EM’s. There have been several times I’ve felt like lighting up upon finishing a visit, only to remember I no longer smoke and will therefore never be having another post-coital puff. Guess that means I need to think of something else to stick in my mouth. : )
I’ve learned several new things this week. For one I was totally shocked to discover that Supernatural Sex referenced a more mystical or mythical meaning. All these years I’d thought it was Super Natural Sex – or sex you had while sober. I was relieved to recall that despite being incorrect as to the true meaning, I hadn’t missed out on having it. That rather large, muscled guy I’d picked up that night, way back in the late nineties, was quite strong. Thank goodness for hairy men! While I don’t recall a particularly unique smell, he did seem to have a bit of a sniffing fetish going on. My very own wolf-man? Who knew I’d been such a were-queen?
There was that slightly uncomfortable moment when I became a little confused, wondering how we’d allowed such a major faux pas. A blog post about older men and another about classic cock? Holy double booking, Batman! Awkward! Fortunately, they turned out to be different topics after all, not to mention great blog posts, and all was well in the world of Cocktopia.
Another new lesson for me was James’s post on being Pegged, which is something I’ve never been. I have been pinned on many occasions, and though there was nothing sparkly involved in my experiences – there was plenty of lube. I’m somewhat envious of the Pegger’s out there when I think back over my past. I mean, seriously…how convenient to be able to select-a-size based upon your own personal comfort level as opposed to the crap-shoot of dealing with whatever you wound up bringing home with you on a Saturday night.
I must admit to also now being desperate to meet AJ’s father. He sounds so sassy! I love him already! My father’s penchant for naming our pets after traditional Native American words combined with Doorber, the name of the street I grew up on, has unfortunately left me with a truly heinous porn name. I was fascinated by the behind-the-scenes goings-on of AJ’s porn shoot. I’d always imagined it to be like Melrose Place with lots of jizz. And I have a feeling it probably would be if it were me going to the set with my porn star boyfriend. I just know I’d be listening intently to every moan, groan, grunt and thrust as I tried to dissect whether or not my BF was enjoying himself more than he did when he was doing it with me. I’m just fucked in the head that way. : )
While I’ve personally never been too into the whole S&M scene — I’m not being judgie! I wig out if my shoes are too tight. I just can’t imagine being bound up. It sends me into panic-sweats, people!
I do however love a good Vamp story. While I have yet to read the books, I wasn’t very impressed by the Twilight movie. For me it didn’t have anything to do with the glittery Vamps, which while seeming a bit out there – I have always had a fondness for shiny objects. I just felt like the character development wasn’t there in the film. I am over the moon about the Vampire Diary’s and True Blood, though. I do live in constant fear that the market will become overly flooded by blood suckers and insight a backlash, causing these shows to disappear. (That’s part of the reason I haven’t read any of the books. I’ll at least be able to still get my fix when it happens.)
It will be devastating either way. Losing the V-Diaries would be bad enough. I’m not sure my sanity could handle the cancelation of True Blood. (Crosses fingers, rubs lucky horseshoe, & tosses salt over shoulder) I’d tune in at this point just to listen to Stephen Moyer as Vampire Bill say the name Sookie. There’s just something about the way he says it. I think I come a little in my pants every time he does. It’s just fucking hot! I can’t seem to hear it enough, and it’s gotten to the point that I curse my parents whenever I hear it for not having had the foresight to realize they should have named me Sookie!
I hope everyone else has enjoyed Cocktoberfest as much as I have!
Much Love
Ethan
Be sure to leave a comment for your chance to win a copy of your choice of any one of my books!
Word Counts - Today: 0 | October: 0 | 2009: 161,028
Tessa Cárdenas here serving as one of your guest bloggers for today. And my topic? Sex. But not just the sex by two people that you might be used to. No, I’m here to discuss how I’ve learned to deal with sex scenes with three or more men.
Now, I never planned to have to deal with this at all. After all, it’s enough of a struggle to write sex between two people. Why on earth would I want to add more? But my characters wanted to add more. They weren’t satisfied with just one boyfriend and suddenly I had to find out how three or more people could have sex.
Sex with three people isn’t just an issue of writing more names and less pronouns. No, it’s also a matter of positions, space, and of course, making sure everyone gets off in the end.
Now I’ll be honest. One of the first things I did to research my novel was watch a plethora of porn. Porn with three guys. Porn with four guys. Even porn with five guys. And I watched it all with a careful eye—research purposes only of course. I watched to see where the actors seemed to struggle and tried to figure out how much non-professionals could do.
Of course, we all know that what works in porn doesn’t all work in real life. So while it’s a fantastic visual, it’s not the end of the line in research. After failing to find informative articles online, I turned to my friends. Not everyone is lucky enough to have four friends who’ve ventured to have threesomes and foursomes, so I’ll share all of the knowledge I gathered.
It shouldn’t be a shock to find out that sex with multiple partners isn’t just about lining up on a bed and going at it. For one thing, you need at least a queen-size bed for three 6 foot men to sleep comfortably. If you want them to do more than sleep, it really does help to have a king available. After that, you have to get creative if you want everyone to get off.
I previously said that it’s not just about lining up. While that might be an option, three-way doggie style might not fit so well on the bed, and two people thrusting at once can get awkward when the thrusts aren’t timed well and cocks start slipping out. If you really want everyone to get off, it’s often better to mix it up. Let guy A get off with a blowjob while he’s being fucked by guy B and then let both of them suck off guy C together. Handjobs, blowjobs, and fucking in any combination can work.
I have to say I’ve never thought so much about the sex aspect of a story before this. Usually, I just let it all play out as it goes along, but for threesome or foursome sex scenes I find myself blocking out each sex scene before I can even start!
But even with the extra research, (which I can’t say I mind all the time) I’ve enjoyed my explorations into writing and reading polyamorous sex. Now I’d love to see what y’all think about it.
Have you read polyamorous sex before? Do like reading stories with it? Does the sex appeal to you more or the relationship?
Comment on this post for a chance to win an ebook version of The Strongest Shape. The book will be released November 6th with all the threesome sex you could want in one novel!
Contact Tessa on Livejournal or Twitter.
Word Counts - Today: 0 | October: 0 | 2009: 161,028
James Buchanan joins us as guest blogger today and totally took the theme COCKTOBERFEST to an entirely new and deliciously smutty level. It all goes behind a cut. But it’s so worth it!
Word Counts - Today: 0 | October: 0 | 2009: 161,028
OK, so here’s the thing. I really want to believe in werewolves, vampires and shifters in general. Only the sexy ones, not the bad ones, unless they really have a good heart and can be changed by love. I mean, think about it!
Werewolves are cool because they can shift between men and wolves. When they turn into big, furry wolves, they are gorgeous, love to romp and are incredibly strong. Most wolves are on the lookout for their mate, who they’ll know immediately because of their unique smell, targeted specifically at them. Plus there’s the sexy, commanding Alpha who really has a heart of gold, and is an amazing leader with sensitivity and wisdom beyond his years. When wolves shift back into men, they’ve got beautiful musculature, are in incredible shape because of all the running they do, and are usually well-hung both as man and wolf. What’s not to like? more…
Word Counts - Today: 0 | October: 0 | 2009: 161,028
To celebrate the release on Wed, Oct 28 of DISGUISES, my first title with Dreamspinner Press, I’m having a special costume contest.
We’ve all had our share of good and bad experiences with costumes. Share your most embarrassing or your coolest costume party story with us for a chance to win a copy of Disguises.
Leave a comment here to enter. If you link to a photo of the costume in question, I’ll give you 5 entries, otherwise just one per comment.
One prize to most embarrassing costume and one prize to coolest costume.
Enter by midnight (Eastern time) on Oct 31. I’ll choose the winners and post sometime on Sunday Nov 1.
To start things off, I’ll share the fact that when I was in the 5th grade I dressed up as a trash bag. I’ve never had much imagination about costumes and my mom was even worse! I wore black tights and one of those old black Hefty bags filled with paper so it looked like a full bag. Thankfully, no photos exist.
My coolest costume would be a tie between wearing a black vintage cocktail dress with huge hat and enormous faux pearl so I looked like a 30s film star.I was in college at the time and I wore this to a party my sorority had with some fraternity. Somewhere I have a photo of me and some guy “water-skiing” on a table. I’ll try and find it to share.
The other cool costume was when my boyfriend and I both wore black suits and dark glasses and went as Men in Black. I wanted a plastic gun and honestly it was nearly impossible to find! It’s easier to buy a real gun than to find a toy gun. I ended up with some Star Wars thing. Anywaym we both looked pretty cool and got a lot of compliments on our costumes.
Word Counts - Today: 0 | October: 0 | 2009: 161,028
Congratulations to Shari P who won a $10 gift certificate from Fictionwise!
I had only three entries for this one, so I’m rethinking the contest situation going forward.
What kind of contest would you like to see?
Word Counts - Today: 0 | September: 0 | 2009: 158,042
Don’t forget to check out the current contest!
Word Counts - Today: 0 | August: 11,272 | 2009: 158,042
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